Made it to 4 months!!

Here's a couple of pics of me at 16 weeks exactly. I can't believe I haven't grown at all since the last picture at 13.5w. I could swear I ballooned out but I guess I was completely wrong. :) Oh well, there's plenty of time for the belly to grow still. I just wish I didn't look so "is it a donut or a baby?"-ish.

It's Really Happening!

So last night, right on 14 weeks to the day, I finally felt a kick!!! I was lying down and A was beside me sleeping and I felt two small "thump-thumps" on my left side. Enough to know it definitely wasn't gas lol...but then right after, within 10 seconds I felt one HUGE thump in my mid belly and I KNEW that for sure was baby! I had to wake A up because I was so excited that it's finally happening.

I've been bitching and complaining the last couple of weeks, wondering when I'll finally feel something. Last pregnancy I felt a couple of tiny flutters at 14 weeks. So although this time it didn't come earlier, it sure did come on stronger.

I'm so excited and hope I can get some frequent kicks! I think the best part of pregnancy for me was feeling baby moving and kicking around (even though sometimes it hurt SO bad).

Love it!!! Now I can't wait to find out if it's a girl or a boy!

13 Weeks 5 Days

I finally took the plunge today and took a picture...eeeek :) Here I am at almost 14 weeks (13w5d to be exact). I'm not sure I look pregnant, maybe just like I had a beer or two too many.

First Appt with Mt. Sinai

I'm a little bit late posting, but we had our first appointment with Mt. Sinai on April 6th. I was a little bit shocked that they whisked us into an ultrasound for the first appointment and did the IPS testing. It was amazing though, the nurses are great, and even A got to sit in the u/s room and watch the whole thing! Even I got to watch the whole thing on a screen in front of me on the wall!! They said they are ultrasound crazy over there so expect to get one every appointment.

So I quote she said "you have a boring pregnancy" which is great, no problems, baby is healthy. The NT measurement was 1.47mm and heart rate was 149bpm. Baby they said was measuring 6.6cm which at 12 weeks 4d was really at around 13 weeks. But they didn't change my due date.

I even asked the nurse to zoom in on the genitals to see if we can tell whether it's a boy or a girl and she said she couldn't even guess. But then she said "just because I don't see anything doesn't mean it's a girl". I'm convinced it's a girl, but then again what do I know :)

I'm going to ask them again for the 16 week ultrasound, maybe by then they can see something more who knows. I'm DYING TO KNOOOOW!!!

Anyways all in all a great appointment, and I really feel taken care of there. They are really on top of things and it makes it that much more easier to accept that things might not go horribly wrong this time.

He's Home

I got the dreaded call this morning to pick up our kitty's ashes. I was procrastinating going but I somehow four hours later, got up enough courage to go pick him up. I thought this way A doesn't have to go because I knew there would be a ton of people there at the vet's office watching as they did the handover.

I walked into the clinic and I couldn't even say what I was there for. I think I mumbled "ashes" somehow and they knew me there so right away they knew the reason I was there for.

I brought him home and I guess A was mad at me for not waiting so we can do it together. I just didn't want him to go through bringing another loved one home in a box. I thought I was sparing him the pain and taking it on. I was wrong I guess.

I put Capp on the perch with the other two kitties, the birds are chirping outside and it's so beautiful. It's not fair that he has to miss this. It's not fair that he had such a short life when all he wanted to do was live it. This is one cat who didn't want to die, even when it was time to go and he was in pain. I knew he didn't want to go. I knew he just wanted to somehow get through it and play forever. That's the part that hurts the most.

When people say he's in a better place, I don't feel like he is. I feel like if he had the choice he would have stayed with us for as long as time permitted.

But this is it for him I guess. It is so SOO hard to have two loved ones in urns at home. One day we will all get buried together and be reunited as a family on the other side.