Marley

Well, it's been a while since I posted. I think it's because since starting these anti-anxiety pills I haven't been thinking and over analyzing things as much. I've been able to cope better and not over-think every detail of my life. It's so strange, like the voice in my head, the one that kept blabbing about how much life sucks, has finally been muzzled.

But on to what's new...or old. Just found out this week that the mycoplasma infection is still there. :( That means another round of antibiotics but this time for 28 days. Then 1 week wait to be retested and then 3 weeks to wait for the results after that. So it's going to be a long time before we can even think of trying let alone a pregnancy. I was upset at first, but then the antidepressant kicked in (ha) and said "no look at this as a positive thing" :) ...so we'll take something positive out of this and use this time to work on our relationship and strengthening it. Don't get me wrong, I am so SO bitter about not being able to try but I guess I have to let go of my control issues and just let the antibiotic do its thing. I just pray that I am able to clear the infection. I read that some people can't clear it at all, for some it takes a whole year and for some the only thing that clears it is IV antibiotics. Yikes...I knew the first round of 5 day antibiotics wouldn't clear it. I just had a feeling. I love my feelings, they are always right.

Anyways on the plus side, we're getting a dog!!
His name is Marley and he's so cute, we haven't met him and are only on stage 3 of the adoption process but we're hoping in another week or two we'll be able to bring him home to meet his new family. We started the process three weeks ago so I truly hope it's soon. We love animals and I think if we had a huge-huge house, we'd probably adopt even more. I don't know how I'm going to keep up with all the hair. I can already make a daily pillow out of our cats shedded hair. Also, another new thing, I finally found a job. Wow...that feels good to write. I hope I don't screw it up as a lot is riding on this. It's a really great position with the airport in our city for a 6 month contract for now. This will be my first "not-someone-else's-bitch-job". I'm really excited but I just feel so down on myself because I'm not sure if I'm up for the job. I mean intellectually....I hope I don't let anyone down.

Tonight we'll be going to the bank to see about a loan for the lawyer's retainer fee. I hope we get it...or some at least so we can get the ball rolling as we only have one year left to pursue this. I am very antsy to start working on this because it's in the back of my head every day. So please people, keep your fingers crossed that we get approved.

So that's it...I'll see how everything goes.